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Huh?
I own a jewelry store on Main Street in
Anytown, USA. I write newsletters for my customers. They like them.
Maybe you’ll like them, too. This site has articles from the 19
newsletters I’ve written so far.
Cynical,
Eh? See below.
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What’s In It For Me?
Ego. Not too much, because (surprise!) I’m
an old guy. Your ego gets smaller and your father gets wiser when you
get older.
Click here for
old guy lessons.
Express myself. I write. Somebody has to
read.
Book plug. I wrote a book on diamonds. I
want to sell it. You can buy it here.
"Aha", you say. "Found you out."
You’re probably not going to hop on a plane
and come to my store and buy something, so if you're in diamond
shopping mode, read the book plug on the next page.. (You mean you're about to spend
a fortune on a diamond without doing your homework
first?)
And if
you really enjoy this newsletter, see “You Ain’t Seen Nuthin’ Yet” on the last page.
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Carats
The carat, the
unit of weight for gems, is derived from the carob bean. The
carob, or locust tree, grows in the Middle East. In ancient
times, merchants found that dried carob beans were very
uniform in weight. The modern carat is defined as 2/10ths of a
gram. A dollar bill weighs 1 gram or 5 carats!
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Carrots
The most
unusual engagement ring I ever made was for a woman whose
hobby was raising rabbits. She got a ring that looked like
a carrot: a pear shaped orange sapphire for the carrot and
3 small marquise green tsavorite garnets for the leaves. A
one carrot engagement ring! |
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Something For Nothing
Clueless? Unsure of
yourself? Orna-mentally challenged? Problem solved! Just
buy a gift certificate and let the giftee do all the work
while you get the credit! |
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Attention Winos
Amethyst, the purple form of quartz, is derived from the
Greek amethustos which means "not to be drunk." The
ancient Greeks thought that wearing amethyst while
imbibing would prevent drunkeness.
Of course, they also believed that Windex would cure
whatever ails you. |
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Low Bandwidth
Causes
Time Out Error
Watch strap keep popping off? It’s probably because
there is a gap between the watch case lugs and the strap, exposing the
pin. Sometimes people get a strap that is the wrong size and sometimes
the leather compresses over time.
A too-narrow strap slides back and forth and grabs the
springy part of the pin and off it comes. A new strap that fits snugly between the case lugs
cures it. I can squeeze a slightly too large strap in and it will
work, although it looks a little pinched, but too narrow will create
problems.
Straps are measured in millimeters. 16-20mm is the
usual the range for men, with 18mm being the most common. Women’s
watches usually take from 10-14mm. For a woman’s watch with a man-size
strap, I can order a man’s short as a replacement.
Of course, the pins
come in inches. |
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Shell It Out
Remember wampum? It’s a redskin to paleface word for
money in a bad western.
Actually, wampum is the shell of the Cohog clam. Its
mother-of-pearl has purple swirls and it really was used as money by
the Indians.
It comes from old Cape
Cod, where you can still find it set in silver jewelry.
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But Was It
Crunchy Or Creamy?
Soon after the first synthetic diamonds were made by
General Electric in 1954, Robert Wentorf, one of the
researchers, in a whimsical tour-de-force, made diamonds out
of peanut butter.
The peanut,
like you, is a carbon-based lifeform (according to Mr. Spock)
and diamonds are pure carbon. The result was tiny crystals of
green diamonds. According to Wentorf, the green color was
caused by nitrogen in the peanut butter. |
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A Diamond is Forever Wasn't
"A diamond is forever"
sounds like an old folk saying, but the slogan was created
in 1948 by the N.W. Ayers advertising agency on behalf of
DeBeers, the South African diamond monopoly.
It is arguably the most famous slogan ever created and the
most successful advertising campaign in history.
It got you, didn't it? |
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Vietnam Photos |
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Trigons
No, trigons are
not Star Trek aliens. They’re natural features on the surfaces of
rough diamonds.
The Picture of a
diamond above was taken through the microscope. It shows a natural
with a trigon.
A natural is the
original surface of a rough diamond that wasn’t ground away
during polishing to save weight. Naturals are usually on the
girdle (edge) of a diamond and are not considered defects if they
are small and don’t intrude into the stone. Often a diamond will
have two naturals on opposite sides of the girdle, an indication
that the cutter was trying to maximize the diameter of the
diamond.
Naturals look like
shiny irregular facets with angular striations that are related to
the underlying atomic structure of the diamond crystal.
But occasionally a
natural will show ghostly little triangles: trigons. An intact
rough diamond is shaped like two four-sided pyramids set
base-to-base, called an octahedron. Trigons occur on the
triangular faces of the pyramids.
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The Sound of One Hand Clapping
I sold an
excellent sterling silver ring with a large opal, a nice heavy
ring. A week later, the customer came in with the bottom of
the ring bent out of shape. It seems that she had gone to a
Broadway show and had applauded vigorously.
Silver is
quite soft and even heavy pieces are easily bent, so practice
Zen applause. |
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Mileage
Attention! Joseph's does
not carry those 5 year watch batteries you're always asking
for. They're only sold at gas stations where they sell the
35 miles per gallon gas. |
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